Family Affair

THE CHOICE OF A LIFE PARTNER AND ECONOMIC GROWTH With Dr Nma Olebara (FCAI)

THE CHOICE OF A LIFE PARTNER  AND ECONOMIC GROWTH

Introduction: The desire of every young man and woman is to get married to the person he or she loves and will live together as husband and wife till death parts them.

Marriage is the most sacred, most powerful, most serious union established by God Himself, a holy institution that requires those entering into it to show a complete and unreserved giving of self. It involves a call from God and of response from two people who promise to build themselves up with the help of Divine grace, a long life, intimate and sacramental partnership of love and life. God instituted it from the beginning of time through Adam and Eve at the Garden of Eden with a charge to increase and multiply.

CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER

This is the most critical stage of a person’s life because marriage is forever, it is not a contract you enter into today and it terminates tomorrow, any mistake made is for life. Love the say is blind but marriage is a real eye opener. It is the reality of love. Love is what we all desire. When we do not feel that powerful emotion, we are in some sort of pain. Our soul wants to express love and be loved and to note that love is unconditional.

Do you love yourself? Loving yourself is a key to health, happiness, attracting and maintaining successful relationships. We often want others to show us love so that we can feel we are lovable. The highest drives of human nature are the desires to be loved and appreciated. A heart in love is like a heart in flames. It rages like wild fire that is hard to quench. According to Dr. Adolf Ahanolu of blessed memory, love is the elixir of life. Love is the pleasure of a wife. The cheapest weapon of a woman. The veto power of a man. Love is divine, Love is sublime. Grows like grapevine, intoxicates like palm wine and makes you feel fine.

Love is the most beautiful feeling that has been created by God and the basic foundation of a relation that exists between a man and woman is love. Many people confuse love and infatuation. Love takes considerable time for growing while infatuation grows instantly. When you are really in love with a person, you are ready to accept his or her fault. This is the real sign of love. On the other hand, the person is considered to be perfect and without any flaws. When flaws appear on the surface, it almost becomes impossible to accept them.

When you truly love someone, he or she will be your centre point. You will think about him or her. Whereas a person is self centered in infatuation. If you truly love someone you will care about his or her feelings and try to do something special for him or her, your entire focus will be on that person.

When both love themselves they are ready to face challenges and problems, but when you are infatuated, you try to ignore the problem. It is becoming frustrating for most ladies to have a steady relationship with the man of their dreams. That a man is physically attracted to a lady does not mean that he loves her. Most ladies confuse physical attraction with love, thereby giving their all, love emotion and bodies. At the end they are left heart broken.

Physical attraction for a man is wao!. She’s cute, let me have a taste of her or she is hot enough to date for a while. If a lady is crazily in love with a guy and is dying to be with him, don’t give yourself away easily. Control your emotions. If he is begging you to do it, that it is love, do not mind him, he will appreciate you more if you don’t. There is more to a relationship than sex.

Any relationship that is built on the foundation of sex is fraught with danger from the onset and it is obvious that the relationship is bound to fail. True love WAITS. If truly you love her, you will wait for her till you get married. Sex before marriage always hurts someone. God’s desire is for single and young people, to remain sexually and emotionally pure for marriage.

Marriage is not meant for a boy or girl but a man and woman with spiritual, moral, mental, emotional, educational and financial maturity. Marriage is a mutual agreement or covenant. A covenant is an oath or vow between two individuals before a high authority or throne. It involves a life commitment. Time spent in a relationship is meant for understanding one’s needs, signing agreement, and practicing the agreed. With Christ’s injunction of man love your wife and woman be submissive, you will succeed.

Marriage is a call to love one particular imperfect human being as Christ loves him or her. There is no perfect creature, searching for that will cause you nothing but heartaches. Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, practice and two people who truly want to be together. Being in love is a full time job, so if you are not ready, doesn’t apply. It needs understanding, acceptance, trust and giving for you to have a healthy relationship. It must be built on the foundation of truth, honesty, honour, respect and above all commitment.

Many people are desperate for marriage and get married for wrong reasons. They never bothered to know what it takes to build successful home. You don’t prepare in marriage but you prepare for marriage so said Samuel Olagbenfo. Socrates said, “By all means marry if you get a good wife, you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher”.

Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. For you to achieve this, you must “SEEK GOD”. Seeking God for your daily decision will often attract the right man or woman. When it comes to the issue of choosing your life partner, you should make the proper decision because you entire future depends on this. It is undoubtedly one of the most important decisions of your life. Ask God to give you, your own husband/wife so that you don’t marry some one else’s own. If you don’t pray, that is time to be on your knees to seek God’s face.

Again find out how compatible both of you are before committing yourself to such a relationship. Relationships often time suffer as a result of lack, compatibility. To avoid any future complications and creating ego problems, it is better to always analyze your interests and desires and see whether they match. If you are a person who goes by principles and strictly follows them and your partner has no principles or feels that there is need to have one, then there is bound to be problems in your relationships. You have to straighten it out before plunging into marriage.

You can now differentiate between love and infatuation. Are you truly in love? Honestly ask yourself why you are into the relationship. When it comes to the issue of spending your whole life with a persons, do not go into a blind love. Do not build a relationship upon fear, insecurity, pity and sentiment. It will never last and will only give you unhappiness and sorrow.

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