Family Affair

… THE CHOICE OF A LIFE PARTNER AND ECONOMIC GROWTH (2) With Dr Nma Olebara (FCAI)

Remember that if they are too many “ifs”, “ands” or “but” in a relationship then sooner or late it is bound to collapse. Do you get jealous if you see your partner with another person? When with him or her do you forget everything else? Does time come to a stand still when with her? Do your heartbeats increase when she approaches? When alone, do you find yourself thinking about her? Will both of you be able to handle disagreements that may arise in your relationship? Do you think about each other before making any decision that may affect the relationship? If she disappoints you, will you be devastated? How do you feel when you are with him? Strive to create time together for quality time out and value those important “alone time” when together. Do things that bring you closer. Please, always be honest to each other. Relationship lasts because of a commitment to love unconditionally. Commitment provokes love and triggers submission. It has to do with responsibilities, so never get involved if you are not responsible.

Never marry potentials. The golden rule is if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is, don’t get married. Have you carefully checked character, humility, responsibility, kindness. Are you impressed with her creativity, loyalty, determination?

Don’t ever make mistake of assuming that you can change your partner because one of the fundamental truths of dating is that you cannot consciously change other people. Don’t tolerate ties, excuses or mixed feeling. If your dating partner is not treating you right, note from the word go that it is not going to work out. No matter how much effort you put into it, as painful as it may be, you need to end it. There is no point wasting your life in a relationship you know it’s not leading anywhere.

Another factor to consider before choosing a partner is trust. It is a very vital element in any relationship. In order to be able to spend a lifetime together, mutual trust is essential. It makes you share things in common and prevents issue from building up in a relationship.

Are you at the dead end of getting your own man? Or do you think time is running out? Don’t forget, it is not how far but how well. Really things like this could make one to consider doing degrading things like dating a married man but remember if you do that you are doing more harm to yourself than good. This is because if you are going into a relationship with a married man due to depression and frustration, you are simply treading on a dangerous and risky steps-being  No 2. No matter what you do you are not and cannot be the 1st, A married man already has marital obligations, his children and family are his primary concern, so you must expect less attention from him. By so doing, you will be exposed to lies, excuses and apologies when he does not show up for appointment. You deserve a complete and full life, not a piece of it.

A lot of single ladies are faced with crushing question of the appropriate time to tie the knot and the best age of getting married. The simplest answer to these questions is that there is no fixed age as age is just a number. This is be cause marriage takes more than your age to happen. The dynamics of wedlock are slightly more demanding than you think. You may be in a relationship for a decade but how ready are you? Ok, you may be ready but is your partner ready? Is he ready to take your responsibility in sickness and health?

Now let’s examine the role and limits of parents. Your parents are always chose to your heart, you trust and love them. In some cases, they see some facts you may be blind about in your relationship. If the people who love you most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person is probably not the one for you. Sometimes they may choose some one who is not a match for you. In such a situation, it’s not wise to follow their advice. But if they are the people you trust most and they are urging you to get out of a relationship, then you owe it to yourself to give their advice a serious attention. The voice of man they say is the voice of God. Never take an action that you will regret at last. Receive your parents blessings or face the consequences in future.

Finally, be careful in choosing a partner because your choice will either make or mar your economic growth. Don’t allow your desires to lead your heart. Do not lust after her beauty and be captivated with her eyes. Never allow any woman to fool you into their deception with their beauty, be wise else you live to regret the rest of your life.

Married life is full of excitement and frustration. It takes selflessness to make it work. A health relationship is about being with someone who respects values, and makes you happy in a way no on else can. Marriage involves give and take sowing and reaping, helping and receiving. It is not a do or die. It is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.

Do not be desperate, take it easy and wait on the Lord to help you choose a partner that allows you to be yourself. Make your partner your confidant, your support, your shoulder to cry on, your real friend, your anchor and that special person whom you can call in the dead of the night.

Wishing you the best of luck in your search for Mr. Right and looking forward to the day you say “I DO.

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