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Diary of somebody’s husband (for men only) With Rev Canon Chinemerem Uche

This diary is only but a product of the writer’s mischievous imagination. If you arc a lady I will advise

that you read not further because the information here are for readers’ discretion. There is no absolute her any way.

“Never mind ladies who say they like cooking and house chores even as hobby. They actually will fall for a man who does the cooking, washing and cleaning. In fact if you are a “house husband” you will enjoy your marriage “sugarlatively” -Now don’t tell my wife.

If your wife keeps saying she does not control her husband, and then know she is firmly in control.

Women will hardly let you know you are their captive so that you will not seek independence. -I didn’t say you should tell my wife this!

Make sure you keep all the records of the money your wife asks you to keep for her and record the date and time she collects them by installment from you. If your wife happens to save money for you, please just ask her to hand it over to you whenever you need it and do not expect an account to be rendered.

If you are a public speaker, always on speaking tour, dare not tell your wife that those hailing and

commending you were mostly the ladies in mini skirt and brash lipstick, unless you want to retire from public speaking. -Dare tell my wife, I will unfriend you walaihi!!!

Women never accept that they have money unless when they want to spin your head and confuse you. If you have given your wife “chop money,” try going to market still to buy foodstuffs like tomato, onions, meat, snail, gam, fish and palmoil with your own money -o!! If you want to spin her head tell her you went to bush market to buy them at very low price. I tell you, you have conquered her because women truly do not want to spend the chop money. -Tell my wife that I said this and become a liar!

If you want your wife to smile from ear to ear this night tell her not to crack her head worrying about the menu and that you will take her to the grocery and supermarket to buy food stuff for dinner and breakfast -at your own expense, then “all things” will be yours!! -If you tell my wife of this she will call you a foolish gossip.

Be careful how you admire other women. Be careful how you look at girls while driving or walking in the street with your wife. Be careful how you commend food prepared in the home especially the one cooked by the house girl. If you must keep a full blown young lady as a house girl, please, never ever compliment her dressing, voice or special quality, especially if you have never done same for your wife. Nevertheless, if you want the house girl to be given a sack without notice just do this and more often. The immediate result will be her immediate replacement with an old “papa” as cook. Apart from this yon will be free to shower praises on him and even spend the night under the tree discussing the good old days. -There is no need telling my wife about this because she will not understand what you are saying.

When you go on tour and you are compelled to sleep in a luxury hotel, please, please, keep all your lines open at night. If you want to have your peace after returning from the tour keep your phones open and answer every call from your wife, -even if you are fast asleep and wallowing in the dream world. There is a tendency in some women to think their husband on tour has gone on “good-time” with a brash rival.  ‘

Please pick the midnight calls she will put across and make sure the television is Qff while you answer her call. This is necessary because you may find it difficult to explain to her that the voice of the female newscaster in the TV is not a “live” female companion. When you return from the tour speak less of how you enjoyed yourself and talk more of how you missed her. Do not tell this top secret to your wife, for peace sake.

Your wife has the exclusive right to be on the laptop all night in order to submit a project or do some administrative duties, but you dare not do same without her permission. Make sure you tell your wife of where you are going to and also notify her when you begin to overstay. Inasmuch as she has exclusive right to know of your engagements, do not expect her to tell you of hers because you are supposed to know her usual movements without being told. Do not bother telling my wife about this she knows, but will deny she knows.

Do not talk to your wife about sex, talk to her about love because women do not have sex, they make love. -You will be making yourself a fool if you tell my wife this.

Treat her mother as you would have her treat your mother. This will bring peace and harmony in your marriage. -I do not bloody care if you tell my wife!”

 



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