Vote of thanks by Chief Onyeihenagarankeoma [1]

With Rev Canon Chinemerem Uche

I thank you all for attending my thanksgiving. I am truly overwhelmed by your show of solidarity especially through the harrowing days I spent in detention just for political reason.  I am most grateful to my Bishop and General Overseer, whose prayers worked wonders in destroying all the weapons fashioned against me. You know the Bible says that you should listen to His prophets and all will be well with you.  You see this man here; he is a true man of God! The principles he gave me really worked. Anybody who is telling you that seed sowing is a farce is lying.  If not the seed I have been sowing and continued sowing while in prison, I would not be here speaking to you. My Bishop, I remain ever loyal!
Kidnappers have tried me several times but they have not been able to get me. Some people think it is because of a special juju I have. Some have even gone far by saying that I went to Okija Shrine and did invincible charm.  All these are fallacies from the figment of the imagination of the idolatrous. Honestly and in the name of God, I have no other God and will never have till I die. The secret of my invincibility to kidnappers is that I am faithful in paying my tithe. Once I receive the share that is due me, I do not hesitate to give God His own share! If you know what God chops, you have gotten him at “siki one!”  In fact where your prayer cannot reach, just as my G.O would say, your money would reach there.
Some of you here do not know that a seed offering can move the hand of God to act fast. For so many years, Abraham and Sarah have been believing God for a child.  Abraham and Sarah would not have had a child if they just allowed the heavenly visitors to go empty handed. Abraham understood the secret and without wasting time he killed the fattest animal and made sumptuous meal for the three heavenly visitors.  While the angels where eating the food, the deliciousness of the food went into their medulla oblongata and they summoned Sarah. I can picture one of the angels holding a big lump of “okporoko,” (stock fish] chewing it and also gulping original Arabian wine and saying to Sarah, “By this time next year…!” If you are a faithful seed sower, and a faithful tither, kidnappers can never get you. That is the secret of my invincibility. No minister of God leaves my presence empty handed and I have demonstrated it here once again, because I have packaged fat brown envelopes for all the ministers here present.  Remember, if you give God his own share, he would remove eyes for your own share!
I cannot truly hide my feelings for the amount of gifts I have received today.  As people walked in with their gifts my eyes visibly popped out, not because I am a greedy man but I wonder why God has been so good to me by touching your hearts to give me all these. May he reward you all.  I hope you wrote your names boldly on the gifts so that I can write a thank you letter to all who remembered me today. I want to thank all lawyers, chief magistrates, justices and clerks of the court. People are accusing you of circumventing the law to free me from the persecution of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, this is a huge lie. What the legal luminaries did on my behalf was maradonic and intelligent.  They were able to use the same law and constitution to prove beyond reasonable doubt that I had no case to answer. Some accuse the judges of wooroowooroo, well, if wooroowooroo can become an instrument for freeing the innocent and persecuted, so be it! Imagine I, Chief, Onyeihenagarankeoma, the Nara nkea, rie nkea of Oboko, languishing in jail with riff raffs and atomistic nobodies! That would have been unthinkable, absurd, and abominable!  Those who steal bicycles, smart phones, laptops and pick-pockets deserve to go to jail because they constitute the mass of street urchins that upset and upstage the peace of society.

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